“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18).

In the musical “Oklahoma” a young woman belts out, “I Can’t Say No.” For this gal, it was attentive guys she couldn’t refuse, but for many of us, it is the unreasonable requests from domineering or charming people that cause us to buckle.

How do we live at peace with unreasonable/controlling people and yet keep our integrity and inner peace, especially when those people happen to be family and friends? Some people feel mean when they say, “No.” Others fear losing the relationship or dread the wrath or disapproval of this person. They feel selfish to refuse a request, but angry and used if they say yes. In other words, they feel trapped. (Read More)

Someone has compared forgiveness to cleaning a wound. I find that comparison accurate in many ways. First of all, the deeper the wound, the more it hurts to clean it. It doesn’t hurt to wash off a surface scratch, but a deep wound is very tender and the very action of cleaning it causes additional pain. Without cleaning it, the wound will become infected and not heal. So even though cleaning hurts, it is necessary for healing.

The process of forgiving is also painful, but necessary to keep a clean heart so we will heal from our personal wounds. The deeper the loss or injury the more painful the act of forgiving. (Read More)

“Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. “Do not be afraid, man highly esteemed,” He said, “Peace! Be strong now; be strong” (Daniel 10:18-19a).

Have you ever received such bad news that you were literally flattened? Daniel had received a vision of the future that was so terrible he went into mourning for three weeks! An angel came to strengthen him and interpret the vision. (Read More)

I bet you’ve heard, “Trials will either make you bitter or better.” In The Payback of Pain we looked at how God uses suffering to better us. Trials can be a tool to free us from our fleshly limitations and create the capacity to enjoy His good gifts.

But is “better” the automatic outcome of suffering? What is our part in the equation of pain equaling gain?
Romans 5:3-5 (NIV) tells us, “we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.”

At the first twinge of pain, we want to zoom from suffering to hope skipping over the middle of the process, but notice the progression. (Read More)